Trump for President!

Donald Trump wins the Iowa Caucuses and the end of our democracy may be near

Jan 16, 2024

∙ Paid

Trump wins first political contest of the year in Iowa

Preview: Last night Donald Trump smashed his three pitiful opponents and won the first of the 2024 races for the nomination of his party for President of the United States. He garnered about 51% of the vote, while his next closest rival, Ron DeSantis, got only about 21%. In distant thirds place, “I change-my-opinion-more-often-than-I-change-my-underwear” Nikki Haley only got about 19%. This victory will almost certainly guarantee Trump the Fascist Party of America (FPOA) nomination.

Donald J. Trump, wearing a long jacket, waves to a crowd from a stage.

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